So my search for a job has started. Tomorrow, God-willingly, I will go downtown to that pizza place I saw that was hiring. I'm nearly seventeen (in ten days) so I think I'd be a little more suitable. I have some experience. I've worked in offices and one of those jobs included office AND people. So I think I'm good with people. Plus, I would like tips. I don't know, I just need a job. Start saving up so I can move away. Quickly!
I'm bothered by the thought that certain people might be looking and even read this. My thoughts are wrong and there don't make sense. I mean, they make perfect sense to me, I'm just afraid others won't understand what I am trying to convey. But I'm using this for writing practice. I'm just practicing the release of my thoughts.
Right now I feel pretty hungry, I should not eat after nine.
Listening to Hellogoodbye's If You Wanna. . .I might actually brings me a sense of nostalgia. A lot of music has been doing that for me lately. When I listen to Nirvana, Blink 182, Green Day. Things like that make me thing of freshman year, middle school. And it does not help that I still cannot believe it's the year 2008. It just does not seem logical. Has time passed by this quickly? The old red steps I played in outside my former house has turned into a desk full of books and papers that have yet to be finished. Projects undone and scripts left for a better idea.
All this time is passing by and I just can't seem to make it come to a halt. Life before today seems like a dream. I find myself thinking about my lack of memory. I thought this wasn't supposed to happen after I reached my thirties. But reading Invisible Monsters I learned this, "You can't base your life on the past or the present."
So I have to think of the futures and what it holds. I have to hope and pray that my future will always be better than my past. We can't always talk about the past, because it's already happened and already made. The future is yet to be written. You can paint that in whatever way you please.
I hope that my future will have a wiser and smarter Xiomara. I hope I become more wise in the things of God. I hope to help and achieve and glorify.
On another note:
I was reading AbsolutePunk.net and I've read Anton's posts for quite sometime. That man is brilliant. His writing brings a sort of humor that you understand if you are paying attention. Kind of like The Office. (Gosh, I love that show.) In his last blog he was analyzing and criticizing "scene queens". He has also explained the term Myselfism. Quite interesting. But most of all, I find his words to be true.
Seeing emo kids and emo bands is not quite something I enjoy seeing. I can't go to shows because people there are wearing the same clothes the band is. How am I supposed to know who is who? Last December I was able to Motion City Soundtrack on tour and Metro Station was touring with them. I mistook the Cyrus brother for another scene kid and asked for directions. It turns out there is no difference between him and the rest of the kids.
Another thing kids do, wear black. Woah, I wear black too. I wore black today! Johnny Cash style. But I mean the kids wearing the big-healed shows or the kids that walk around with dyed hair pretending they're hardcore. I wonder if they'll ever take pictures and look at them once they're grandparents. What will they tell their grandchildren? I don't know, it's just not me.
Another thing that gets me mad:
Is when people believe that people who come from other countries can learn English. It takes time. The English language is one of the hardest to learn. You can't say that someone that doesn't learn English is because they don't want to. That's being ignorant. You don't know the situation or the implications such people have.
Coming into a new country to better your way of life and to give your children, the people back at home a better chance through the money you earn, learning a new language would not be the first concern. Coming into a country of strangers and in a place where everyone is speaking something completely different than what you speak is a difficult thing.
I think people with this state of mind should learn what they talk about. I'm sure they have never tried what they are criticizing.
(This post was last part was actually meant for someone. It's just one of those things that were bothering me for a while.)
Right now I feel pretty hungry, I should not eat after nine.
Listening to Hellogoodbye's If You Wanna. . .I might actually brings me a sense of nostalgia. A lot of music has been doing that for me lately. When I listen to Nirvana, Blink 182, Green Day. Things like that make me thing of freshman year, middle school. And it does not help that I still cannot believe it's the year 2008. It just does not seem logical. Has time passed by this quickly? The old red steps I played in outside my former house has turned into a desk full of books and papers that have yet to be finished. Projects undone and scripts left for a better idea.
All this time is passing by and I just can't seem to make it come to a halt. Life before today seems like a dream. I find myself thinking about my lack of memory. I thought this wasn't supposed to happen after I reached my thirties. But reading Invisible Monsters I learned this, "You can't base your life on the past or the present."
So I have to think of the futures and what it holds. I have to hope and pray that my future will always be better than my past. We can't always talk about the past, because it's already happened and already made. The future is yet to be written. You can paint that in whatever way you please.
I hope that my future will have a wiser and smarter Xiomara. I hope I become more wise in the things of God. I hope to help and achieve and glorify.
On another note:
I was reading AbsolutePunk.net and I've read Anton's posts for quite sometime. That man is brilliant. His writing brings a sort of humor that you understand if you are paying attention. Kind of like The Office. (Gosh, I love that show.) In his last blog he was analyzing and criticizing "scene queens". He has also explained the term Myselfism. Quite interesting. But most of all, I find his words to be true.
Seeing emo kids and emo bands is not quite something I enjoy seeing. I can't go to shows because people there are wearing the same clothes the band is. How am I supposed to know who is who? Last December I was able to Motion City Soundtrack on tour and Metro Station was touring with them. I mistook the Cyrus brother for another scene kid and asked for directions. It turns out there is no difference between him and the rest of the kids.
Another thing kids do, wear black. Woah, I wear black too. I wore black today! Johnny Cash style. But I mean the kids wearing the big-healed shows or the kids that walk around with dyed hair pretending they're hardcore. I wonder if they'll ever take pictures and look at them once they're grandparents. What will they tell their grandchildren? I don't know, it's just not me.
Another thing that gets me mad:
Is when people believe that people who come from other countries can learn English. It takes time. The English language is one of the hardest to learn. You can't say that someone that doesn't learn English is because they don't want to. That's being ignorant. You don't know the situation or the implications such people have.
Coming into a new country to better your way of life and to give your children, the people back at home a better chance through the money you earn, learning a new language would not be the first concern. Coming into a country of strangers and in a place where everyone is speaking something completely different than what you speak is a difficult thing.
I think people with this state of mind should learn what they talk about. I'm sure they have never tried what they are criticizing.
(This post was last part was actually meant for someone. It's just one of those things that were bothering me for a while.)
